Monday, October 22, 2012

"Controlled Conflict... The Paradox Prescription III"

For most of us, when thinking of conflict, we start to stress. Adrenal starts to pump. And we immediately move from relax mode into self defense. But, Conflict doesn't have to be a bad thing. We should want to learn to deal with conflicts in a healthy way; after all,..."Conflict is a part of life." 

With disagreements and confrontations we tend to treat them aggressively due to feeling threatened or unheard. We will sometimes wish that the conflict would just disappear miraculously... But, what I have learned is that the absence of conflict doesn't make life easier or less stressful, it can actually bring about more difficulties and pain (Physically, Spiritually, and Emotionally.) By learning how to control ourselves in times of conflict, we will do ourselves and others a huge favor. Controlled conflicts is the key to a successful, healthy resolution.

Controlled Conflict is the ability to handle disagreements, confrontations, or a debate without leaving the other party injured emotionally. Many people believe that a verbal confrontation is about winning or loosing. Therefore, in moments of frustration, fiery words and insults are being tossed. Resulting in the original problem being either lost in translation or over shadowed by anger and hurt feelings.

We should understand that the problem of conflicts does not depend on the outcome of who wins or looses/ who's right or who's wrong but learning from one another; as well as, testing weak points should be the goal. Let us not only contemplate on the use of this Paradox prescription, but exercise it. Maybe we can have relaxed relationships that build strong bonds and keeping individuality, rather than tearing someone down or silencing them.

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